April 8-Dear Diary,
Today the worst day ever! When I arrived at school, I went straight to the office. Mrs Tegan asked me to take a seat and wait for the principals to call me in. I could feel myself shaking – my stomach tightened, and I suddenly couldn’t breathe.
I closed my eyes briefly and did a quick prayer.
At the sound of Mrs Tegans voice I opened my eyes, “Yes.” I managed to say.
“You can go in now.” She walked me to the door.
I stepped inside and she closed it behind me.
The thud of the door vibrated around me and suddenly I felt like a prisoner.
Mrs Mayers and Mr Casio said good morning and asked me to take a seat. My voice didn’t cooperate, so I just nodded and took a seat.
Mrs Mayers spoke first, “Leah, the reason we have called you in is because we have heard some strong accusation about a rumour you have started.”
Mr Casio nodded, “We know you are a good student Leah, and we would like to know from you if what we have been told is true.”
I coughed, took a deep breath, and said, “What rumours?”
“We have heard that you are spreading rumours about Carmen the new girl. Damaging rumours.” Mrs Mayers serious face didn’t show any emotions.
“Ok.” I squeaked.
“Leah we would like for you to tell us what is going on.”
My mind screamed. No! I don’t want to tell you. I want to go home. I want to take it all back!!
Instead, I nodded and played with a small thread that danced on my skirt, “I overhead Carmen talking on her phone the other day about her dad being in jail and her getting expelled from school.” I took a shaky breath, “I told a few close friends, but I didn’t realise they would say anything. No one was supposed to know!” Tears filled my eyes.
The principals looked at each other and then back at me. They didn’t say anything and let me cry softly. Guilt and shame washed over me. What had happed to me the last few days?
I had been a great student and now here I was almost ready to get expelled.
Why had I gossiped.
Why had I told anyone?
Why had I told Alisa? Anger replaced my tears and I wiped them furiously.
“Leah, we are very disappointed about this.” Mr Casio said. “You should have come to us and told us your concerns, instead of telling others.”
“Can you imagine how Carmen will feel when she arrives at school today?” Mrs Mayers added. “I would suggest you sort this problem out.” She pursed her lips. “If more rumours continue, we will have to look at a few days suspension and call your parents.”
I inhaled sharply.
I nodded, “I will fix it.” I whispered. “I’m really sorry.” I stood up and left the room.
In the foyer, I flopped on the chair and waited to gather my nervous.
The bell for roll call rang, but my body didn’t want to move. I didn’t want to face the day or Carmen and specially Alisa.
I asked Mrs Tegan if I could please have a late note as I was going to be late to class. I hadn’t had time to go to my locker.
She graciously gave me one and slowly I made my way to the dead silent locker rooms.
I gathered my books and leaned against the locker for a few minutes. I wish I could run away. I shook my head. My parents would kill me and then I would definitely be expelled.
I closed my eyes briefly and prayed,
God I know I stuffed up – please forgive me. Sorry I hurt Carmen and I’m sorry I hurt you. Please give me courage to face the day and please, please make me brave and help me fix everything. Amen.
I looked at my watch and hurried to roll mark – only 5 minutes left.
As soon as I walked in the room, everyone started to whisper. They probably knew I had seen the principals.
Rosa and Jess waved to me and motioned for me to sit with them. Carmen wasn’t at school again. Phew. I couldn’t face her.
Shyly I sat next to them.
“You ok?” Rosa asked.
I shook my head no.
Jess reached out and squeezed my hand, “We’ve got you girl. We will stand by you no matter what.” She grinned.
I couldn’t help but smile.
My girls were awesome. True friends.
I could feel Alisa’s eyes on my back, but I did not want to turn around.
As we walked to first class, I filled Jess and Rosa on what had happened. Their eyes rounded like marbles.
“Oh Leah, what are you going to do?” Rosa asked.
I shrugged, “I don’t know yet. But I need to fix it.”
At recess, I went to see Alisa. I took a deep breath and went to their table.
“Alisa can I talk to you for a second?” I asked.
She nodded and came over, she folded her arms, “Yes?”
“Why did you guys spread Carmen’s gos..I mean what I told you about Carmen? You promise you wouldn’t.” I could feel my face heat up.
“Look Leah, I only told my boyfriend. The rest isn’t my fault.”
“What do you mean it isn’t your fault! You went and blabbed it to your boyfriend?” I said in angry whispers.
She laughed and shook her head, “No, you blabbed! If you didn’t want the goss to spread, you should have kept your mouth shut. Don’t blame anyone but yourself.” With that she flicked her hair and stormed away.
I stood frozen.
She was right.
This was all my fault.
Angry tears threated and spilled when her friends dissolved into laughter. All eyeing me with contempt.
I wanted to go and slap their faces. I had done karate.
I took a deep breath and prayed again. God help me.
I knew if I hit anyone I would get expelled, cause a huge problem with everyone, bigger than the one I was in and I regret it for life.
I put my shoulders back and walked away towards Jess and Rosa who had witnessed the whole thing.
The girls circled me with their arms.
“I have to fix this by tomorrow.” I whispered.
The girls nodded.
“We won’t’ leave you.” Rosa promised.
Jess nodded vigorously.
Suddenly I didn’t feel so alone.
When you talk, don’t say anything bad. But say the good things that people need—whatever will help them grow stronger. Then what you say will be a blessing to those who hear you. Ephesians 4:29